30 August 2009


5:30am br (before race)

I did it. I ran (a misnomer) the Top of Utah half marathon. I finished in 2:23 something, very slow I know, but considering I did not work out for a year after my mom's death and in May I could barely run consistently for 10 minutes straight and I am not absolutely injured and achy the day after is a good thing, a personal miracle actually. I do owe a lot of it to my dear friend Megan. We met in March. She is half my age. She doesn't care. We have worked out all summer. Bike rides up the canyon. Hikes to the Wind Caves. Swimming. Lots of running. After work-out movies and lunch carbo-loading at the Olive Garden. She is an explosion of energy. Gregarious and full of light. She continually doled out compliments that only a 21 year-old can lead you to believe, "You'll rock this DeAnn." I don't think my family really understood that I was training for a 1/2. Last time I ran one in Moab it wasn't as successful, I was dehydrated, puffy beyond recognition (before the anaphylactic shock), and didn't feel well at all. This time around was actually quite emotional as I crossed the finish line. I thought of my mom, and all the trauma work I have completed the last few years and I think I felt "joy." I was not hungry - if you can understand that. Oh, one other bit of motivation was that my ipod playlist got stuck on the same song for the last one and half miles. It was the perfect pacer and I am certain I sang it out. Loud. Here it is: UY's Moments & Memories (by the way UY is my niece's husband's band and if you watch the video you'll see Land skipping and skanking at :44 and 2:36)

20 August 2009

avoidance is positive reinforcement

The children in the valley are going back to school. It is the first time in 7 years I am not preparing to greet students or be greeted myself. My seasonal rhythm is all out of whack. I have an ever increasing list of shoulds and coulds. I'm not doing any of them. I sort of feel bad, but hmmmm not bad enough? I fill the time otherwise reading things, watching things, and making things. I found some yarn in Cannon Beach. The colors of the coast. I knitted Land a beanie - it is huge, but he humors me and wears it regardless. I sewed the slouch bag out of the linen wool and cotton book. It is a pale green with orange topstitching, roomy enough to transport all my projects. I read Julia Child's, My Life in France. Into it. Encouragement gathered about never being too old to try. Saw the movie... Julie and Julia... with Darren... my chickflic buddy of late. It's taking me time, but soon I'll get into the swing of the seasons and start checking off those must do's with vigor and vim. I hope so. When did I become such a crafty homebody? This is not me... or is it? We are off to a family reunion in Moab. Shall I take my knitting?

18 August 2009

mood swing

We called this a "family portrait" The boys pictured and so many others become such close friends even though they live hundreds of miles apart. Mike, in the middle, gets as nervous as I do when his son Jade skates. Notice Land without braces - happened last Monday.

Saturday wake up was early 5:30 am. Concrete Rodeo Grand Nationals were in South Jordan (SoJo) Utah. Only a bit over an hour away. They have been in Hailey, Las Vegas, Portland and now they were close to home. Land had qualified in Oregon, at our own park in Logan, and won outright in Layton the week before. Skaters were coming in from all over the western states. We pulled up to the park in a soaking rainstorm, shivering until the water stopped, we went to get some hot drinks with some other skateboarders. Hours later, the park swept and squeegeed, the competition got under way. I glanced at the order and my stomach tied in knots. Land was 4th to go in between the best and most well-known skaters competing. I try not to get anxious during competitions, tell Land to "skate with joy" "do your best" "make friends". I understand logically that it really is out of his hands and mine for that matter, but I have hyperventilated during Chase's hockey games when he gets hit and skateboarding is only a touch lower on the nerve scale. Well, Land went out and laid down his best run of the year. It was beautiful. Put up the highest score of the day and won his age group. I stood cheering all the boys, and chatting with parents until 8:00 that night. I begged Darren to stop at Red Igauna on the ride home. I hadn't been able to really eat anything during the competition and their quacamole was calling me. Reluctantly, Darren consented, even to the 45 minute wait. As we were eating he says loudly, "Bob Campbell." And we turn around and our bishop from Missoula is eating at the table next to us. Now, Bob Campbell is one of the "good guys" in this world and we are fortunate to have him as a friend. He shared stories about his grandkids, and hiking, and work and listened to ours as well. The intensity of the day settled into satisfaction of a job well done and friends well cared for and a little bit of serendipity.

07 August 2009


The mother and son road trip last month was loosely planned. We had originally intended to get down to Reedsport and Coos Bay for skate competitions, but once we hit Cannon Beach my road sore backside wouldn't budge. I know Haystack Rock is an iconic symbol of the Oregon Coast and it acted as if it were a gigantic magnet pulling us to stay... so we did.

Walks along the beach and trails through the seagrass were common activities of the day.

Weathered shingles are a favorite texture.

We enjoy the windblown trees and gray sea-worn wood of this bench built for passersby.

The ocean view in early evening.

Homey architecture abounds in the downtown.

Land sleeps soundly in the Garden Cottage at the Blue Gull Inn. I had my best nights sleep ever. We had the windows wide open with the sea breeze and water sounds lulling us drunkenly to dreamland.

The view from our front window.

Haystack Rock and the lifeguard tower.

I was really on the trip. Land took these photos... Experimenting with the fish-eye lens.

Foam and rock. Such a nice shot.

Wild winded tree.

Singular foxglove on the road to Indian Beach.

We ended the heavy summer days by warming ourselves by a beach fire.

Deep thoughts roasting mallows.

01 August 2009


Dad just sent me a night shot of his new landscaping.
Sigh, I couldn't think of anything to say.