10 December 2010

it's just the way I feel

Christmas is uneasiness for me. Always has been. I'm ok with it. In my mind there are expectations and I never seem to hit the mark.  I just get a bit overwhelmed by the point of it all. I do like the Christmas tree, and the fairy lights, and the cards and greetings and I do love my Harry Connick Jr. for the Holidays. (I love him year round). And 17 years ago I bought a Christmas Album that haunts and soothes me simultaneously. The Bells of Dublin by the Chieftains. One song in particular opens it up, the questions, the contradiction, the light and darkness of the season... the Rebel Jesus with Jackson Brown.

All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season
And the merchants' windows are all bright
With the faces of the children
And the families hurrying to their homes
While the sky darkens and freezes
Will be gathering around the hearths and tables
Giving thanks for God's graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus

Well they call him by 'the Prince of Peace'
And they call him by 'the Savior'
And they pray to him upon the seas
And in every bold endeavor
And they fill his churches with their pride and gold
As their faith in him increases
But they've turned the nature that I worship in
From a temple to a robber's den
In the words of the rebel Jesus

Well we guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why there are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus

Now pardon me if I have seemed
To take the tone of judgment
For I've no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment
In a life of hardship and of earthly toil
There's a need for anything that frees us
So I bid you pleasure
And I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus

PS: I'm not saying I can't figure out the real meaning of the season... got it. (for me at least) Are there not any of you out there who question let's say, hmmmm, Santa? I am totally moved by the Hallelujah Chorus, but am equally amused by Tim Burton holiday poetry (stick boy's festive season). Well maybe not equally. Like I said I am ok with the uneasiness and contradiction. 


dixie said...

This is the season of remembering...except so many forget why the celebration.
I'll pray for you this season to be filled with joy of living because of the gift Heavenly Father gave to us....His son...the baby Jesus.

karen gerstenberger said...

Paradox and mystery are integral to the faith journey, aren't they? And they seem to be part of the story.

I love Jackson Browne.

Merry Christmas & blessings to you and yours.